When I started to write this blog, I wrote a lot about mental health, mainly depression and anxiety. At the time, both were making my life a misery. Some days I would wake up and not want to wake up, some days my anxiety was so high I could not get out the house. It was shit.
Well, after being with a community mental health team (CMHT) for god knows how long, I have just broken off with them – my depression has gone, and my anxiety is under much better control. I no longer have a community psychiatric nurse (CPN) to see regularly, no longer have a support worker, no longer have access to their “on duty” phone line and fast call outs. Hours upon hours upon hours of help, advice, patience, caring and not giving up on me got me to this point. All on the NHS. Many of the CPN’s and support workers I saw were overworked and lacking pay raises, yet all of them felt passionatly about the NHS and keeping it a free source of health care for anyone in Britain. In fact, I can’t remember anyone i’ve spoken to recently who has thought the NHS is a bad idea. It’s sad to think the Conservatives are slowly privitising it on the low-down. It’s sad to feel powerless about it and see it crumble. I hope everyone comes together to fight for it in the future.
I will continue to feel grateful for the NHS, especially with operations on the horizon (one next week for chest revision) , trans medication and general healthcare. Being out of CMHT does not mean the end of all medical stuff for me unfortunately!. I now need to reduce down some anxiety meds, and try get off them altogether. I also need to sort out my Nebido injection and Prostap + regular bloodworks. Nothing as intense as before though.
So much is changing at the moment. Wales is now a dot in my rearview mirror, I sit writing this at my parents house in England. My gear is piled around me. I look out to trees & shrubbery rather than a whole town and the mountains coming down to reach the sea. But its OK, there is enough green here to keep me satisfied (for now). I don’t think I will be settled for a while, but I don’t feel like settling quite yet anyway!
Revision surgery – The pre-op went smoothly. 3 hour round trip for a 10 minute appointment. Literally: weight, blood pressure, swabs, questionnaire, bloods, go. Im going to be totally put under, but after I have woken up for 2 hours and eaten I am free to go. Liposuction could cause quite a lot of brusing, but there is a chance I will just need to wear a compression top, not a proper wrap-around binder – we’ll see. I am already mourning the impending lack of exercise.
Can’t believe comparison picture week has come around already – but here you go, hopfully you can see some facial hair growth this time!
Comparison Pic: day 28 vs day 588 (week 4 vs week 84)