What do I feel?

Am I…..

  • Excited
  • Nervous
  • Frightened
  • Hopeful
  • Happy
  • Trepidatious
  • Sick

I could try cover it all with the word “emotional” but the thing is, I think my head is too confused about what it feels so I don’t (yet) have strong emotions running around. I don’t have the brain power to even get close to envisaging what my life might be like in 3 weeks time. Different.

I’m trying not to sweat the trans stuff. I’m going to read situations as they come, and tell people i’m trans if I feel comfortable doing it. Tbh, where I feel I can, I want to let people know, because I feel it’s part of my identity, and not saying can feel a bit like holding back. It can make me more nervous, because I hate the idea of them finding out accidentally in a way out of my control… I think that’s more awkward to deal with.

Saw the GP who has helped me loads in the past few years with sorting out transitioning and other stuff, and they gave me a nice boost, reminding me that these days, people are likley to be pretty blasé about the whole trans thing. No more appointments for anything before I leave now..ekkk.

My last normal blog will be next week, after that it will be spaced out and a bit random i’m afraid. I will be starting my journey and dealing with LOTS of stuff. I hope I will continue to post here, if just so there is another blog out there showing trans people that it is possible to travel and do what you wanna do… (well, hopfully I will feel this after living abroad for a while). I mean ofc i’m not going to rock up to Saudi and go round telling people i’m trans etc…but some stuff that seems like it might be too complicated, well, it’s all to do with mindset and accepting that there WILL be extra hurdles to jump, and that’s OK, it can be done.

And a quick thank you  to nath1809jones for nominating me for the Liebster Award :-). Currently too busy to write and pass on award but hopfully in the coming months will do!

Now, back to trying to make 26kg of luggage magically become 23kg….

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