It’s strange how you can live 30 mins away from friends and relatives, and not see them for months at a time, but just knowing they are there means you don’t really miss them. However when moving to live on the other side of the world, give it 2 weeks and not being able to see all your friends and relatives hits hard. I suppose this is amplified by the fact that its naturally a time where you really want support. Everything is new, strange, hard to fathom and being strong all the time is exhausting.
I’m trying not to get too deep into how I will deal without knowing comfort is a drive away/a shout away/a walk away. A phone call is all I will have, with a bit of skype. It’s funny, when I went to live in Wales for University, I did not see my parents for months at a time at points…yet I knew I could afford to pop on a train (3.5hrs) and go back for a weekend whenever.
Japan will be…not a train ride away! More like a bloody big plane and several train rides away, and give or take a day or two! It’s now “next month” I head off. Shit.
Next month I will be on Japanese soil, on a teaching visa, ready to start a job in front of classes of kids expecting me to produce fun and interactive lessons for them. Shit.
I’ve come from a place of severe anxiety. So much I found it hard to be in a room with more than one person I did not know. Sometimes it was too hard to go to the shops, and talking infront of strangers was near to impossible. Now this….
Thankfully anxiety has slowly been retreating, with a lot of effort on my part to keep mentally strong and face situations head on. And transitioning has helped. That’s another hurdle I will be facing in Japan. Transitioning in a different country. Thankfully I think medically I am sorted, it’s just other stuff like how to deal with onsen (hot spring baths, naked) and public bathrooms, gym changing rooms, showers, sharing rooms etc.
At the same time as all this, i’m excited. I feel like i’m finally getting back into “exploring” and opening myself up to experiences like I used to try do as much as possible 5 years or so back. Often the toughest situations give the best opportunities to develop and grow as a person, and give the best memories. I just have to remember that when i’m in the centre of the storm!.