Yesterday I did what i’ve saying i’ll do all summer, and went to a summer activity session run by the University. I chose sailing, cause it’s something i’d never done before. And I faced a whole host of challenges, including being on a minibus full of strangers, getting changed in an open men’s changing room, and standing around for ages on a shore-line trying to make sure it didnt look like I did not have a d*** downstairs. And you know what? I flipping well got through it all. I had this mentality…
“If I wanna travel, if I wanna live abroad, then I can’t be someone who bails on an afternoon trip on some boats just cause there are a few hurdles to get past”
and it worked. Each challenge came up one by one, and each time I just questioned what I would do if it happened in Japan, or in a random hostel somewhere. Turns out sailing was no quite as exciting as I had hoped, spent 4 hours on the trip and only 10 minutes sailing a dinghy boat, but hey, I got talking to a few random people which was nice. Yep, my anxiety has dropped to that level now, I can talk to strangers without erecting a pop up greenhouse, stepping in and staring blankly out of it like there is a signpost trying to talk to me.
It was a stark contrast to the day before, where I had a bit of a shit meeting with my CPN. They were basically trying to pressurise me into going on a walking group with other members of CMHT (i’ve been before) but I was having none of it. I was not in the mood, and felt I was better off working on my dissertation. Ended up cutting short the meeting cause it all got a bit “argh”. I dont like it when someone trys to push me into a corner. Anyway, the high of yesterday has left a nice “karma” balance to this week so far.
I have also just passed the first stage of a teach abroad programme (got an email an hour ago)….arghhhhh
Pic from the beach this weeked – I could not resist rolling down a sand dune and getting sand in every crack and crevice. A mate was round which was really nice, travelled to some of my favourite areas again 🙂