It’s hard, as a transgender individual, to be ignorant to the fact that the transgender (TG) community is rapidly taking off. In Britain all you have to do is look at the waiting lists for GIC’s (Gender Identity Clinics) to notice. There are other clues though, and a strong one is the presence of TG people on social media platforms.
Cutting to the point straight away, i’m finding the online community is growing too fast for its own good. More information is great. Data sharing, consolations, celebrations, pictures and videos, they are all really helpful. However i’m finding it increasing hard to feel comfortable talking out due to (I feel) overzealous “Political correctness (PC) police”.
Being sensitive to others feelings is important, and I try hard to be inclusive and correct with terminology where possible. But I get the feeling some people decide something is offensive to them, and then try police it like it’s there human right with aggressive, snappy and/or condescending messages.
The TG community is only just starting to really open up, like that gay community did not so long in the past. It’s going to take a while till it settles into a constant and correct, or widely acceptable terminology. The use of trying to stop someone saying “trans” or “FtM/MtF” or that they are “changing” or that something is more “manly or feminine” or even “men/ladies” when addressing groups seems a tad pedantical in the current climate. The spectrum of genders is developing and trying to find itself among the more self-contained MtF/FtM-transgender pathway. Yes, terminology is going to need to be shaken up and re-aligned to show society’s greater understanding of gender, but to try stop the online community using whatever they are using is just forcing more transgender people back into the closet. To speak up as a newly “out” (again, another term that’s controversial) transgender individual online, and then to be blasted for your terminology, I can imagine gets some people re-thinking if they will really have a supportive community to fall-back on. All the times I’ve seen this happen, the original message was not malicious; it was just honest discussion, queries or statements.
Solution to the problem? Maybe it will sort itself out over time. I can sense many more arguments before this happens though, and I hope more people in the Trans + community don’t get drawn into the defensive, aggressive line.
I have confirmation that my reference has been received by the university! I am on tender hooks with it now, checking my phone instantly after every email. Disappointed every time another crappy advertising email from gumtree or amazon flicks up on the screen. I feel ready to jump yet totally unprepared at the same time. Time is floating by whilst I cringe at the time-span I would have to wrap up my life here and move down South if I get the place. Hopefully next week I will have an answer…
I had a great time in London at the weekend. Anxiety was high at points but manageable. The only really hard time was at a comedy show we went to. I could not face the idea of going to the toilets there, so I held off (whilst trying to slowwwly drink a pint of beer) for a good 3 hours. I still managed to really enjoy the show though.
On Monday I got back to my flat and low and behold, my best buddy neighbour (NB) had the TV on loud again. Oh how I love NB. To be honest though, i’m learning how to adapt, as we humans are so good at. I sleep in the lounge/kitchen/dining room now. Sometimes I drag the mattress through; sometimes I sleep on the sofa bed. It does not bother me as much as before. I mean I would love to sleep in my own bedroom, but I think this is going to take a long time to sort out and life’s to short for me to force myself into a stressful situation every night. The max amount of time I have left here is 1 year anyway until they would want me gone, so as always, nothing is permanent.
I got videoed “talking” to someone in psychology last week, so this week we are going to play it back and analyse it. It is as awkward as you are thinking, then x10. Anyway, to finish off here is the comparison picture. Acne has been getting a bit worse recently. I put that down to the long sweaty hours binding in the pollution of London. Weight is unchanged, and muscle mass seems unchanged for now. Just had my blocker again too. Oh, and I’m holding on for the moment the camera picks up my mustache, it is there!
Comparison Pic: Day 7 vs. 210 (Week 1 vs Week 30)