The other night I was at the theatre watching my favourite production, The Rocky Horror Show. What I find interesting is that it was my favourite show before I realised I was transgender, but now I find it hard not to view it from a slightly different angle. I suppose not so much the show, that has always been upfront; being about a “Sweet transvestite, from transsexual, Transylvania“. It’s more how I see the audience, now that i’m transgender. The majority dress up, most men in high heels, fish net tights, thong, corset, makeup, feathers, and the lot. Most women as Magenta in her gothic kinky maids costume.
Before I figured I was transgender, the film/production held great appeal to me, mainly because of this idea of becoming anything you wanted. You dress and act how you feel and it’s harmless and fun and exciting. It’s no big deal what you choose, because everyone is so different and they have no choice but to just take you at face value.
Now over a year into figuring out i’m Trans, it makes me think much more about what is going on at the productions and how it makes people act like they do. Because you know, once the play is over, that vast number of people dressed up, will go back to work the next day in standard attire; Men: suit, tie, black shoes Women: smart top, boring skirt or suit trousers, sensible heels in a sensible colour. They will go out in the evening with their mates in Jeans and T-Shirts, jumpers and casual shirts. They will have had a great time at The Rocky Horror Show, a night like no other, and leave it at that.
Does that not cast a glimpse into human nature? I mean, for one night, large groups of people seem to skim closer to the truth that gender means next to nothing. Almost everything we think we know about what gender is and what it means is just made up. And when people get close to the reality, they find it liberating. Scary, but liberating. It makes me think what the world would be like if everyone embraced that gender needs no barriers and broke theirs down. I’m unsure if that will ever happen, but it’s a nice thought.
So you can see how my train of thought goes deeper than before. I have to pull myself away from it and just enjoy the night. At least I can go away feeling lucky that i’m exploring who I am more than many will get the chance to. Yes, I have to categorise myself into “transman” or “man” for the sake of society, but take away the categories and your just left with me moving towards a place where I feel most free and comfortable in myself.
If any of you have not yet seen the production, or the film, I would say definitely give it a go!
Last but not least, 1 day vs 13 week comparison.