So i’m going to stop the “x” weeks on T titles. That is not to say that I am not going to talk about the progress of my transition, just that it won’t necessarily be the main topic of the post therefore it does not seem as fitting. For example this week I have not noticed any new changes. I have had my second shot of anti-oestrogen and continue taking the full dose (1 sachet p/d) of Testogel.
I have had a tough week this week decision wise. I’ve made a choice that my parents are not so keen on, but which i’m standing by as it’s what I believe is best. It’s made things a bit strained, but I believe it’s all blowing over now. It’s funny how these things crop up out of nowhere and become a whirlwind of your life for a while, then they pick up and leave town. Been coping pretty good with the situation though and I think that’s because i’m stronger mentally than I was 6 months ago.
I saw a physio yesterday about my dodgy knees (brief background info: buggered up knees for 10+ years, getting worse, I cycle through seeing different medical professionals and nothing has helped) He prodded and poked and bent and extended and twisted and referred me onto seeing a consultant, so that’s another month + of waiting. I’m used to waiting though! I am hoping this time I get some diagnosis or whatever so they can be fixed!
Today my knees are a fricking killer. They stopped me sleeping last night and had me almost crying out in pain. Had to take painkillers and put a support on to try calm it down. I walked a lot yesterday and along with the examination I think they are shouting out in protest. Trying to focus on this blog and learning Japanese, and forget that I can’t do boxing tonight or walk that far without wincing.
Phycology is warming up. Starting to get really tough now, talking about core reasons for my anxiety and re-enacting the feelings that I go through. I’m going to be targeting group situations, interviews and building relationships. It might be help for this volunteering role I am going for, as that will cover all three of those areas. It is exhausting on the mind. I can see why in the past they wanted me to wait until I was a bit more stable before they referred me to this. Hopefully I will stay strong enough to tackle it week by week.
I will finish with a minor rant. Does anyone else hate pharmacies? They seem to have no concept of confidentiality or the want/need for privacy when talking about medication. Am I really going to mention that I am on Testosterone gel and anti-anxiety meds when I am in a room full of local people?? And even though I say my full name, on a few occasions now they seem to have independently decided I am female, not male, and tried to force other people’s med’s on me or claim not to be able to find mine. Grrrrrrrrrrr
The comparison pic, pre-T to 5 weeks: