Greetings internet friends!
Today marks 3 weeks on Testosterone for me which, as ever, is pretty damn cool. The changes are far and few between. OK, so maybe none existent? I sometimes feel hair on my face is a little more noticeable, sometimes my muscles a little more sculpted, sometimes my routine a little more out of sync. But other times? I think it’s the same. I’m not down about it though, more excited to keep going and to finally get onto the higher dose next week.
The volunteering role I applied for is still going through. I need one more reference but I am on the case! I had a really awkward moment with them when I gave them a work reference. Then the next day I realised shit! That work place knew me by my old name! I had to hastily send the volunteering place an e-mail explaining the situation. Thankfully they were uber cool about it. Turns out i’m not using that reference anyway, and that you can use personal references. This has made things much easier for me; normally my lack of proper referencing gets in the way. Getting a bit more nervous now about the role and having to meet up with the manager there, but I suppose for now I should just be saying “what will be will be”… oh and researching the hell out of the company.
I am having a battle with trying to keep myself motivated this week. Especially when i’m alone in the flat for ages. I force myself to be constantly busy to stop going into a downwards spiral of thoughts. I’m determined this year should be one where I make good progress forward up and away from the mental health system (not saying totally detached, but at least more independent would be great). It’s hard knowing all the obstacles ahead though, and trying to learn to be patient whilst knowing I can’t be patient my whole life!
I starting to feel a job in the areas of either Travel, Environment, or wildlife would be good for me, although i’m still looking at each and every job sector for stuff that catches my eye. I tend to get scared off huge graduate/apprentice schemes due to the application process. Think I need to be braver and face them head on. Easier said than done…
So that’s it for now, hopefully be typing away to anyone listening in the world with a slighter deeper voice next week, or I’d even settle for maybe just some more body hair?? :-p.
(btw this is Day 1 on T (L) and Day 21 on T (R))