Spread the news! The spots are coming!! 2 weeks on T and, like in every transitioning transguy’s dreams, i’m getting spotty. So excited I might sit and have a beer to celebrate. OK, so I’m not that over-awed by this but it does indicate changes are happening, so that’s good. Here are some other changes:
- Increased appetite
- Sleeping pattern altered
- Slight increase in muscle definition
- Tiredness and energy swings
- Sweats (kind of like hot flushes)
I feel my face looks pretty much the same, and voice is the same although it’s getting a bit scratchy at night and in the mornings. Still mis-gendered pretty much everywhere and some things get a bit awkward…
Example normal everyday situation that transitioning turns mega awkward:
OK, so it was my mistake, I asked for cash back at a “card only” marked self-service machine. But it should have been a simple – ok, we will sort it. Walk home.
HOWEVER. As soon as the lady starting talking to me, (explaining why it was not giving me cash when I’d already figured that) I got a raging hot flush. A symptom of my crash on oestrogen levels. So I was there feeling like a furnace when she told me she could not sort it, she needed the manager. Cue her walking over to the phone and ringing over saying that “a lady needs help at self-service” —*inner screaming, burning, wishing a hole would appear and swallow me up, or a nice cool lake to jump in*. Whilst waiting for a manager to appear, several members of staff walk past. To each one she asks if they could help or know where the manager is to “help this lady over here”. I need some air. Finally, after an age, the manager appears and sorts out the problem, thankfully not mis-gendering me. I get out and my body slowly resets its thermostat whilst I try find the funny side of the situation.
So as you see, transitioning presents its own set of complex problems and obstacles to try figure out. I mean bloody hell, being a 25y/o guy going through the start of puberty whilst having an odd kind of menopause is challenging!
So from tomorrow I start with a half sachet of Testogel a day, doubling the dose! So changes should pick up the pace a little. Only two weeks till full dose.
In life news, I’ve applied for a volunteering job at a local estate type place in a kind of “ranger” type role. I’m hoping it will push me into more social situations so I can gain confidence (tbh get ANY confidence would be good) in talking in public to groups. I’m also starting to look way more seriously into what would be a good career for me. My mum is being mega helpful with this and hours of brainstorming are being done to try get some direction. My mood has been mostly positive recently, with only a few dips. It even stayed good helping my bro and his partner move house. So you never know, the T could be helping more than just with physical stuff, maybe with psychological too.
Below is day 1 on T vs. day 14 on T.