So I dont want to bang on to much about Christmas because it seems to be such a saturated topic (understandably) at the moment. So just an update on “things” in a more general term.
I have been to a local trans group! With the support of my.. well, support worker, I went a week or so ago to a meeting at a James Bond style “secret location”. It’s kinda absurd when you think of it right? That some people find transgendered people so threatening that we have to meet in a secret location? Anway, I bloody well went and was so happy for managing it! I even spoke out in the group which is crazy. I got to express my fustration with GIC’s and the NHS guidelines etc. I hope I can get the guts up to go to the next one. I will have to go by myself as my support worker would have left by then. Feeling confident about it now though.
I also might be going to a group for families of trans people, with my mum and dad! Big leap if that happens! There is no way of trying to justify that being trans is a self contained “thing”. It affects everyone you have contacts with and it can be hard to try help them process their emotions whilst having a lot of stuff to deal with yourself. So I feel it will be a great oppurtunity to just talk and have others to relate with for them.
I have had such a good straight recently! I feel it has a link to the work I’ve been doing with my support worker. I bit the bullet after she said she was leaving and thourght “right, lets make the most of it”. We have gone to the trans group, gone to an arts place and gone swimming twice! We have tackled anxiety issues and stress and looked at ways to deal with them and to boost self-esteem. Now with the holidays comes big challenges,but hopfully this pre-holiday boost will see me through or at least stop me from crashing too low. My extra meds seem to be working well, and im getting no side effects. Writing this Im trying to ignore this “calm before the storm” feeling…
Hope you guys have a great Christmas.